Sorry Isn't Enough
by HP Slash Luv
Summary: After Ariana is killed, Gellert deals with what that means for him. Told from Gellert's point of view.


**Written For:**

**Quidditch Fanfiction League Competition: **Falcons - Semi-Finals  
Keeper - A character's suffering is caused by another character (or a character causes another character's suffering)

**Hogwarts: **Divination  
Task #1: Write a fic featuring Gellert Grindelwald, Sybill Trelawney, or Cassandra Vablatsky as a main character

**Betaed by my teammate, Elizabeth.**

**Sorry Isn't Enough**

**Gellert's POV**

I stare with wide eyes as the girl, _Ariana_, falls from a stray spell. I never meant for the girl to get caught in the crossfire. She has been innocent in all of this, but still, she was hit.

I gulp. Did I kill her? Or was it the curse that Albus formed? Or maybe Aberforth's curse.

Albus turns eyes full of betrayal onto me. And I know what he thinks. And maybe I think it too.

It's my fault. Even if it wasn't _my _curse that was the fatal blow, if I hadn't shown up today and started the fight, it never would have happened.

My eyes try to convey my apologies, but Albus' grip on his wand is tight as he points it at me, and I know he couldn't care less about my sorry.

I quickly make the decision that I need to retreat. I'm not wanted here. Maybe in a few weeks, I'll be able to speak to Al.

X

I watch Albus from afar. I wait for the time that I think I can safely approach him. That time doesn't seem to come, though.

I'm a coward. I know I am. Albus is hurting. Maybe he didn't take the caretaker role over Ariana as seriously as Aberforth did, but Ariana is… was still his little sister. He loved her, and he protected her. He was there for her as much as his time allowed.

From on top of a hill, far enough away that the Dumbledores don't notice me, I watch the brothers argue, coming close to blows Muggle-style. And I know it's my doing.

Aberforth is the only family Albus has left in the world, and by the looks of it, he's losing that now as well.

I want to march over to them, tell them that fighting like this is pointless, but I don't. My cowardness knows no bounds.

Aberforth shouts one final thing—I'm too far away to hear the words, although I know they're angry—before he storms into the ramshackled house and slams its door so hard that I can almost see it shake on its foundation.

Albus' shoulders are slumped as he trudges away from his childhood home. My heart clenches. I want to go to him, tell him that I'm sorry. I never apologize, but I'm willing to say the words to Al. I'd do anything to make the look of despair go away. But I don't. I worry that he'll spit in my face. Or not even want to hear it. I'm scared that I lost my all-the-time best friend and sometimes lover for good.

Maybe another day, I think. I hope. I pray.

Maybe another day.

I nod resolutely.

X

I can't keep putting it off. I know I can't. It's now or never. I look inside and see Albus hunched over something I hope is only a Firewhiskey and not anything stronger.

Taking a deep breath, I straighten my spine and put on a face of indifference. I can't let Albus see how much this whole thing has affected me.

I open the door. A bell chimes, announcing my arrival. Only the barkeep acknowledges me, but it's with a scowl. With my blond hair and blue eyes, I look like a foreigner, and I'm not welcomed by some businessmen in Wizarding UK.

I take a seat on the stool next to Albus. "Are you done moping?" I ask, keeping my voice as nonchalant as possible.

"Bugger off," Albus commands, staring into the glass of some sort of alcoholic drink, seemingly lost in the amber liquid. Maybe it is something stronger than Firewhiskey. I'm not sure if Albus has ever said 'bugger off' before. It sounds wrong coming from him.

I look at my hands. "I miss you," I whisper. Admitting that is one of the hardest things I have to do. Missing someone, and especially admitting to it, is opening myself up and showing the world my weakness.

Albus doesn't look away from his glass of something. "Well, _I _don't miss _you_."

I dare to rest my hand on his forearm.

Albus jerks it away as if my touch burns him.

I try not to take the extreme reaction to heart. "We've shared so much together. Are you really going to throw it all away?"

Albus doesn't answer.

Nervous, I continue to babble. "We've talked about our dreams. Our fears. We've held each other at night after passionate lovemaking. We spoke about our future together. How can you just turn your back on me?"

Finally, I get a reaction, but it's not the reaction I want. "You're blaming me for walking away!?" Albus asks in disbelief, turning his eyes on me. They remind me of blue fire. "My sister is dead. Abe won't talk to me. I'm alone. And you're blaming me? You're unbelievable!"

I stare into his eyes. "I'm sorry. I never meant for Ari to get hurt. It was all a horrible mistake."

"You started the duel with Abe," Albus accuses me.

I place my hand on Albus' cheek. "I'm sorry, okay?"

"Not okay," Albus retorts, pushing my hand away from him. "I'm done with you."

I stand up and back away. "You don't mean that. You can't mean that. Albus?"

There's nothing but raw pain in his eyes when Albus faces me this time. "Gellert, I love you. I have for so long. And I thought we'd be together for the rest of our lives. I thought we'd change the world for the greater good. But I'll never forgive you for this. I want you out of my life, and I want you to stay out!"

"Our plans…" I trail off hopefully

"...Are over and done with," Albus says decisively.

Suddenly I find it hard to breathe as I turn and flee the bar as fast as I can without running. How can Albus turn his back on me and our ideals? How can he throw me away like trash?

I tried to apologize. I admitted I made a mistake. I practically told him I love him. And he didn't even care!

I'll make him regret this. He'll regret turning his back on me. Somehow, I will have my revenge!

XX

(word count: 1,038)

_**(Note: I know I made Gellert a bit self-centered, with how he kept thinking about how it affected him, but I always kind of imagined him to be a narcissist, even if he had loved Albus in his own way.)**_


End file.
